Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
