I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dick very happy bro
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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