dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
