So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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