I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
