ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
