her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
