Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
