you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need to stop coming to work sober
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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