you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Four minutes until I can fart!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
