His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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