Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
