dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize