Duck Duck Cougar?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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