who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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