i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
