He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
