just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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