a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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