Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
