All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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