it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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