six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
