You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
