You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
