You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
