he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
