her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
