i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
