My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize