I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
