Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she pinky promised me she was 18
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
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