So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
