Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
