Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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