Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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