we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
