You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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