Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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