her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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