Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
