my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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