false alarm. still invincible.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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