he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
