i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
