yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
