Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize