Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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