Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
