Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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