You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize