The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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