Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Girls should come with a carfax report
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Randomize
