whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you never un-have a 4some
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
