I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
