She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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