I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
