I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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