I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
