Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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