Me too!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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